四月底了~ 

距離畢業只剩三個月,

回首從剛進研究所羞澀的菜鳥研究生, 

到現在變成摸透各個老師習性和八卦的油條學姊, 

笑容浮上嘴角...


接下來的五月和六月,

論文就會好像懷孕後期的小baby一樣

會長得好大好快

媽媽雖然辛苦,

卻彷彿可以感受到生產的喜悅



每走一步,前方的路就愈亮

有種興奮,期待的感覺~





 

Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

四月底了,

逼近交初稿的日子,

雖然有時間的壓迫在逼自己...快寫快寫!!

可是反而這時候更會呈現deny的狀態,以龜速前進~


我需要寫作的動力....

於是我開始醞釀情緒....


我的動力通常來自:


1.對學術和社會可能的貢獻

  去回想我當初
  想論文題目的時候,
  多麼想知道一些甚麼,
  多麼想印證一些甚麼的那種心情~

2.我的職業是學生

  是學生就要接受這樣的task
  要不然就是失職


以上是比較"硬"的動力,
其實比較常採用的都是以下比較"軟"的動力...

Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Apr 16 Sun 2006 01:16
  • poetry

One Art 
               ----- by Elizabeth Bishop

                                                                               
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
                                                                               
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
                                                                               
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.
                                                                               
I lost my mother's watch. And look!
my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
                                                                               
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
---Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied.
It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
 
 

(The over-emphasized sentence:  losing isn't hard to master.
  reveals her true feeling of tension and fear. )
 
 
I Carry Your Heart With Me
                   ------by E.E. Cummings
            
                                                                 
I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

Everyone has his/her own past,

but, how do you give means to the PAST?

Look at it with negative attitude of unpleasant? shame? guilt?

or with possitive attitude of lessons, experiences, gains, and thanks?

It depends on one's own wisdom and philosophy of life.


How do I mean PAST?

In my life, I look at my past with both negative and possitive attitude.

Something happened before,everytime when I touch the memory,

Oh...that really hurts....

It's already happened and I can't make it up right now.

so I have to face it with courage, take lessons from it, and, be mercy.


let the past be the past, not just past it with no gains.


So....will you talk about your past with your boy/girl firend 

even if a big mistake you've made before?

It's hard.....

Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

雖然喜歡一個人,  總是說  不需要理由,

可是我還是列了好多好多   喜歡你的理由,

每天都發現, 喜歡你的理由   一直加一直加,

同時也愈來愈害怕    有一天    你不見了~



每次感動的同時,  心裡都會有   陰影,

害怕   眼前這個   美麗的泡泡,

是不是   有一天   會幻滅   ....



我想

我還在   學習,


勇敢  付出愛  與   勇敢   接受愛~








Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

今天早上,
看到學姊臉色發白,
說是生理痛,
看起來還可以微笑,
就沒有太擔心,繼續寫論文

之後起來倒茶水發現...
學姊的肢體動作很熟悉,
因為劇烈的疼痛,開始不安地扭動著身體和皺著眉呻吟,
跟我的地獄症狀一模一樣.
可憐的小傢伙...那樣的痛,我是多麼感同身受

因為借不到熱水袋,
我趕緊去辦公室取了兩個乾淨的塑膠袋,
裝飲水機的熱水,打結,以手帕包覆後放在學姊的肚子上,
學姊已經呈現半無意識狀態,
可憐的學姊,不安的扭動身體,虛弱的呻吟,
還跟我一樣有嘔吐的症狀...
我也可以想像那樣的痛,

我趕緊打電話給振德,請他找看看有沒有熱水袋,
不過還是只有暖暖包,
後來振德把學姊橫抱到一樓休息室
(可惡的振德,還說我比學姐重多了)
好在,休息一個小時就好多了
(我也是要在地獄彌留一個多小時才會恢復元氣)
學姊跟我一樣,都很怕別人會以為自己的痛是裝出來的,
因為真的過了一個多小時的煎熬後,就又生龍活虎了~

看到跟我一樣症狀的學姊,
有種遇到"戰友"的感覺~

Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

*** 
Chi:「答應我一件事好嗎?」
Jane:「...甚麼事?」 
Chi:「答應我,我們要一直愛著對方...」 
Jane:「(閉上眼睛感動貌)...好...」 
*** 

*** 
Jane:「(啜泣)」 
Chi:「妳是想到剩下甜點和副餐飲料了嗎...」 
Jane:「(搖頭)  我是很害怕,你會消失,
           上帝常常把我最需要的東西奪走...」 
Chi:「以後不會了...」 
Jane:「嗯...祂應該是有祂的安排,才會現在才遇到你,
            我剛剛罵上帝,他會不會懲罰我?(哭)」 
Chi:「(拭去我的淚,撫眉心)  噓...不要皺眉...」 
*** 

***
 Jane:「我有時候會想,現在的我們愛得很深,
            Y座標是在很高的地方,
            但心裡其實知道,有一天,
            曲線會掉下來一點點,
            我在想,那時候,
            會是以甚麼樣的形式下滑,
            我們又該怎樣因應它...」
Chi:「我其實也有想過這個問題...
         我想我們要好好經營,並且珍惜我們所有...」
***

***

Jane0917 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()